Sure God But What's Rain

I am so tired I feel like my fingers are super bonded to my keyboard and my backside has been permanently glued to my desk chair. I have been writing almost non stop for the last four and a half days. I have had very little sleep. The few hours I have been able to sleep I have been stretched out on the chaise in the study. My legs and feet are swollen so badly I can hardly bend them. My husband said he never saw anything like it. I mean picture it, my size 9 1/2 feet swelled up looking like half inflated beach balls, then again don't picture it. What can I say I am only a dainty demure woman on the inside. Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.


But I don't care. I needed to get this book finished. What brought on this urgency you might ask? A stirring in my spirit that is hard to explain because I don't understand it myself. The closest thing that I can come to is when God told Noah to built the ark. I mean, Noah must have said, "sure God whatever you say but what's rain?"


I am sixty years old and I have never experienced anything like this before. This book was on my to do list to be finished last year. God gave me the plot in about thirty minutes then I had the dreams. God and I are pretty tight. Not because I'm special but because I'm very needy. His voice isn't hard to recognize when you listen as hard as I do. I'm always just checking to see if he is still there. It's almost like a child in bed at night calling to Mom and Dad. "Hey Dad it's me how about a tall glass of water." I am always thirsty.


I was dragging my feet (I guess now I am literally dragging them) even though I knew I was suppose to write a trilogy. A trilogy and I didn't even have the first one done. Hey don't give me that look. I'm writing on blind faith here.


I haven't a clue what God is going to do with this book or the next two. One thing I can tell you they are saturated with Him. It is almost like someone poured a pitcher of oil all over them. This is God's baby I am just trying hard to see that it grows into maturity and is ready to go out into the world.


I'm not the type to tell you God said, unless I believe God said. None of this is about me. I am just a willing vessel hoping to be used by God. Well, alright, begging to be used by God. Because that's where I find my true joy and happiness; when I am smack dab in the middle of something he has asked me to do.


God is so close that when I breathe I feel as if I am breathing in his very essence. Every movement is in line with him. Does that mean I do everything right. No, unfortunately, it just means I am willing to give it my best shot.

I'm kind of like that kid on the baseball team with a lot of heart but just so so talent. He's so sweet ya just gotta give him a chance. You never know he may hit a home run.













Until we meet again. God Bless

What About Me

Sometimes it's hard to understand why some of our prayers don't seem to get answered. Why we don't get to do the things our hearts yearn to do. Why do we have to strive so hard? Why does it seem it is always some one else who gets the breaks? I finally came to the realization that if I had gotten everything that I thought I should have I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't care as deeply, I wouldn't have worked as hard or reached as high, striving to give others what I so long for myself. I wouldn't have learned to depend on God so much. I also realized God is concerned with making me into the person I should be, not necessarily the person I had envisioned.


But if I am to be honest there have been times in my life I have asked God, "Can't I just have a suddenly?" You know, one of those moments that has catapulted you into your hearts dream. One thing I do know is when I stop trying so hard things do come together. When I relax and just let God be God that's always when the answer comes --the breakthrough happens. Sometimes the harder I try the more I screw it up. I just want it to happen so bad, as the old saying goes, I can't see the forest for the trees.

Some days it is really hard. You know the days I'm talking about, the ones when you feel like all you've gotten done is beat your head against a wall. God keeps telling me not to give up. Every time we feel like we are beating our head against the wall he is removing a few more bricks --and pretty soon, if we don't give up, that wall will come crumbling down, and we will have a clear path.

Sometimes the world throws us a lot of crap to sift through but that's ok, God just uses it to make our path way a little greener. You see, with God the grass is greener after He shines his light on it. So don't get discouraged just keep in mind the more crap the lusher the path. (:0)
























Until we meet again, God Bless.

God Is With Us

Tomorrow is the last day of January 2010. I've been doing a lot of thinking. Mostly trying to hear Gods voice in the mist of this turmoil called life. To feel his presence, to see the light of his love, even in the darkest times.

Sometimes I think I try too hard. I need to relax and realize God is here, right here with me. I don't always have to feel His presence, hear His voice, or have that stirring in my spirit. I need nothing but to accept the fact that He is always with me. No matter what I'm going through, no matter where I am, He is with me. After all God is not about feeling, He is about truth and the truth is He is here always. I love him so much. I could never make it with out him.

I'm going to tell you a secret, I'm really pretty weak. My strength has been gone for years. So many trials. So, I'm standing today only because of Him. I keep going everyday, only because of Him. My family and friends are wonderful but as much as I love them it would not be enough to keep me going.

I owe everything to Him. Each breath I take is His. I am completely in love with my beautiful Saviour. He is my strength and portion. He is always there to lift me up. He always picks me up brushes me off and sets me on my path again. His love sustains me through every storm this life can bring.

So I guess I just wanted you to know that He loves you just the same. No matter what you might be facing this cold January night He is with you. Hold fast to that truth above everything.

Until we meet again. God Bless

Winter Blaghs

Well, I'm back again. How's things going today? I've been going through a few rough patches.How about you? It seems like every winter is hard for me. Do you like winter? I need lots of sunshine. I would not make it any place that had extra long winters. My oldest son laughs and tells me "Mom, you sure you can't get a few more lights in the house." What can I say I need light!


Seriously though do you feel like you're just somewhere in-between in the winter. I mean, it's a good time to get all those things done that you don't want to waste your time on in the spring but with out the sunshine you just can't seem to get motivated. Then when spring comes you don't want to take the time to do all the things you should have done in the winter because you want to enjoy the spring. It's crazy.


Motivation is suppose to be a state of mind not a feeling. I think parts of my mind are definitely in the dark when it's winter. Well, some people might say parts of my mind have never seen the light. (:0)


It's just too hard to imagine that spring is around the corner when it's snowing or just plain dark and dreary. Everything, including me, looks so lifeless in the winter. My smile doesn't come as easily, kind words too easily can be replaced by not so nice ones. I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to hibernate like an old bear. As I am writing this I heard a bird chirping outside my window. I am going to pretend it was a Robin. My first step in positive reinforcement thinking.


One more week and January will be over. I would like to think I could accomplish something before the months end! I did clean out a dresser that had not been touched since my youngest was in Jr. High. Oh, did I mention he is now 26. So, I guess that counts as a small accomplishment.


I have been working on a book I started last year. I have had writers block but I have managed to get a few more pages done. Hopefully about 50 more will wrap up the first draft. According to my goals it should have been done by the end of the 2009. Hey, I'm not too far off target. I covered myself it was not only on my one year goal but my 10 year as well.



Well, I guess I've complained enough for one day. I know spring is coming. There goes that bird again. Confirmation! Hang in there, I know you will make it too. One of these days the sun will shine bright, the Robins will be singing and I will be complaining about all the dust and spots on the carpet that I will be able to see so clearly. Hmm, maybe I should get busy.









God Bless until next time.

Victory In Jesus

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About this year, the promises it holds, the ability to move ahead and step out into that internal photograph we all have in our heart. I feel like never before that each day of this year is jam packed with possibilities and promise. Please don't let it pass you by. God is tugging at your heart. Whispering in your ear. Please listen. What you have to contribute to this world is far beyond anything you could ever hope or imagine. You just need to get in line with God. Allow him into your life and watch what amazing things develop.

The ups and downs of this life are almost more then we can bear but I promise you there is an answer. That answer is Jesus. Not religion, not a denomination, it's Jesus. A relationship with him. A real one on one walking in the mud and in the sunshine relationship. Through the good times and the bad. It's not about your parents relationship, your spouse or your friends. It's about your personal relationship with him.

A lot of people try to put him in a box and tell you that you have to be this or that before you can be accepted by Jesus. That's not true. Jesus accepts you right where you are right in the middle of your mess. You don't have to get your life all pulled together before you can ask him into it. It's not about how many times you have attended church this week, how many hours you have spent in prayer or how many good deeds you have done, although all of that is good. It's about loving Jesus and Jesus loving you.

Don't be afraid to step out of the boat. Take a chance. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The world lies before you. Take his hand. Don't be afraid. Your life will never be the same. You will never be sorry.

I know sometimes I sound like a stuck record playing over and over but I know the reality of Jesus and that personal relationship. I have seen him work miracle after miracle in my life. Has it been hard? Sure, but I wouldn't even have a life if it was not for him. I"m not ashamed to admit that I need him every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day. I can't do it with out him. I wouldn't want to try. He is the first thing I think of in the morning when I wake and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep at night. Everything I do is with him in my heart and mind. Yes, I screw up at times but it's not like I wake up in the morning and decide, "Today I'm going to screw up," I'm human and it happens. He knows our weakness's they are no surprise to him. He is our strength.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. After all he hung the stars and the moon. He spoke the world into existence. With God the impossible becomes the possible. Stop carrying the load, I know how heavy it is, give it to Jesus.

If you have already given your life to him. Hang in there. Remember there can never be a victory with out a battle.



Until we meet again. God Bless

I Met Me

Hi! How are you? God has been telling me a lot of things since our last talk. The most exciting thing is I got to meet Me. I really did. Now you have to understand my relationship with God is awesome. We constantly talk and he has been by my side forever but I can honestly say this is the first time I have met me.

It was amazing He showed me that all my life intertwined and I was exactly where I needed to be. My job, my family, my photography everything is who I am. I got to see me not as the world sees me but as He sees me. It was wonderful. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. All of a sudden I didn't seem so lonely or insignificant anymore. Now I know what you are thinking, "if you and God are so close why did you feel lonely or insignificant?" If I am to be honest, I guess it was because it is easy to believe God loves you and you are special but sometimes it's just hard for me to believe it for myself.

The days ahead are going to be like an unveiling. Each day clearer then the day before. With clarity comes strength and wisdom. This is not just for me but it is for you too. He showed me that this is a year like no other year. He has been telling me this for months. He showed me that if you only dare to believe to reach out to him that breakthrough you have been praying for will happen.

God is in the restoration business. It brings him great joy to restore your life. I know I have told you in other posts to expect the unexpected to believe the seemingly unbelievable but it has never been truer then it is this year.

It is extremely hard to find the words to explain to you that this year is different. This is the year that your breakthrough will happen if only you reach out in faith to Him. I guess one of the ways I could describe it is, think about a Father who went out and bought a ton of presents for his children. The house was full of them. They covered the stairs and the tables and chairs. He called them, sent them letters but they would not come to see him. All the presents sat untouched. They were all waiting, if only his children would come to him. The Father grew very sad. He wanted so desperately to give the gifts away to his children but they never came.

The path has been made clear for you. I am not saying that in the world there are not obstacles but God is able to lift you over each one. He will take your hand and guide you safely to your destination. Your own special purpose. Don't give up. You are only a breath away from seeing the greatest day of your life.

Sometimes our life is like winter. It seems like everything is dark, nothing but hard days, but then spring arrives. That's when you realize that winter was only preparing you for the wonderful days of spring. Hang in there and believe like you have never believed before. Your spring is coming.



God Bless until we meet again.

Happy New Year

A new year begins. I feel the power of God surging through my veins like a raging river. There isn't anything we can not accomplish this year with God. God has thrown open the doors and windows of heaven. A mighty cleansing is falling like never before. This is His year to show up and show off.

Listen for His voice. Feel His presence. Follow His lead. God wants to use you in a mighty way. To show you all that you are capable of and all that you were created for. He doesn't want you to hide in the shadows any longer but to step out into the light.

Open up your arms, embrace it. Allow God to fill you until it is pouring over. There isn't anything too big for God. There isn't anything too small in your life that He doesn't care about or want to be a part of.

We all tend to look to our spouse, our children, our friends and although we are blest for having them, only God can fill the void. Only God knows how each of us feel deep down inside. You know, that place, that agony, we can't seem to make anyone else understand. God sees and understands.

This year allow God to reign in your life. Allow Jesus into your heart. Let go of the past start anew. Don't drag the old baggage into this new year. You have carried it around long enough. It's time to let it go. The past is just that, the past. It can't be changed or rewritten. Think about it as if you are walking and the only path you have is in front of you. Once you take a step the step you left behind is gone. It is just air, there is no solid ground. Just keep moving.

The parts of your past that you may run into in the future will work out once you allow God full reign. God will always shine a light on the path before you. Always help you up the steep hills and down again; over the rugged terrain and the sandy beaches. There will be laughter and there will be tears but always, always, there will be peace.

God be with you my friend this new year and always.

Until we meet again. God Bless