One Little Word

I was reading through some old journals this morning, which my "Bestest Friend" told me to do. Ok, since we are friends, I'll spill my guts, I was feeling down wondering if what I had been believing God for was really going to happen. There I said it; see I told you before I was needy.


Think about it, God and I have been talking about this for years. I mean I have an internal photograph for heaven sakes. Maybe I can't hold it in my hands yet but that's tangible this is eternal; I mean really, I need to get a grip.


Well, I came across one seemingly simple little word over and over again. "Believe" That was Gods answer time and time again. "Just believe Sandy, just believe." Seems simple enough especially when I stopped to consider where I've been.


I'm not even suppose to be here. My Mom was unable to carry a child but here I am. She carried me all nine months. She was in horrible pain and would fall on her knees crying and praying that God would protect me and allow me to be born.

I weighed five pounds when I was born. Mom had to contantly turn me from side to side like a pig on a spit because I would turn blue. To look at me now you would never believe I started life that small. I laugh and tell people, "there was no room in the womb but once I hit the air, Whoa!!" (:0)


I think about the trauma's that I went through before the age of 5. I was stung all over my face by a nest of yellow jackets. I'm allergic to bees. I survived. I remember getting a little cut on my knee that Mom faithfully took care of but still the infection developed to my bones causing severe pain and complications. I'm still here.


As I grew older everything seemed to come in pairs. When I got the measles I also got tonsillitis. I guess I took the whole two by two thing a bit too far. I could go on and on it was as if someone was really angry because I was here.

As an adult I was told I was in a thyroid storm and that I had one heart attack and was on the verge of another. There's that pair thing again, I survived at age 50 with the heart of a teenager, No surgery and no sign of any heart attacks. "I got that straight from the Doctors mouth." "Clean and pristine." God is Great.

Miracle after Miracle, You would think I would not have trouble with that little word "Believe," but I still struggle with it...Over and over again.


What makes that word so difficult? Why don't I take it for what it is? Why do I keep laying it down. I guess it's kind of like trying to buy a sweater at the store. I pick it up.. I lay it down.... I try it on... I look at it from all angles... I like how it fits... The price is right... Why can't I just buy it? You see that's where the problem lies, I could buy that sweater for you anytime.


I can believe all day and all night for you. How to keep that little word active for me in my life that's where I get into trouble. I guess maybe that's another thing I took a little too far, "you know the one about putting others before yourself."


Just like in the Bible and just like my "Bestest Friend" reminded me this week, I need to go back and remind myself of all the things God has promised me, as well as, all the things He has brought me through.


I use to think that it was God and me; I could walk this road alone but I now know that everyone needs someone to cover their back. Even Jesus picked twelve disciples. God made us to be there for one another, to hold up each others hands in battle.


So what about it friend? I promise to hold up your hands. Will you hold up mine?










God Bless. Until We Meet Again.

God Is In The Driveway

I've been deep in thought this week. There is a stirring that can't be put into words. All I can tell you is my heart is full of God. His love and power grows thicker around us.

I know a lot of you are tired. Some of you are at the point of giving up. You've done everything you can think of to make things change but nothing has worked. Maybe you're thinking "My breakthrough is never going to happen. My life is never going to change." Let me tell you with all the force I can muster "Yes it is." You are so close; now is not the time to throw in the towel. Don't you dare give up. You are closer then you think.


The enemy wants you to give up that's why so much has been coming at you. He thinks if he pulls out all the stops you won't make it to the finish line. I'm telling you, "You can make it!" Actually I'm not telling you but God is telling you, "You Can Make It." I'm just the mouth piece.


All you women who have given birth know how hard it is just before delivery. Those contractions are steady. They are almost unbearable but that's when you know that baby is almost here; so it is with your breakthrough. God has seen every tear and heard every prayer.

He has commanded an army of angels to be dispatched on your behalf. They have been hand picked just for you and your circumstance. God has been working on your behalf behind the scenes. Like a stage being set for a play, rehearsals are over, "It's Show Time."


Think of it this way, God has pulled in your driveway, He just hasn't made it into the house yet.








Until we meet again. God Bless

Sure God But What's Rain

I am so tired I feel like my fingers are super bonded to my keyboard and my backside has been permanently glued to my desk chair. I have been writing almost non stop for the last four and a half days. I have had very little sleep. The few hours I have been able to sleep I have been stretched out on the chaise in the study. My legs and feet are swollen so badly I can hardly bend them. My husband said he never saw anything like it. I mean picture it, my size 9 1/2 feet swelled up looking like half inflated beach balls, then again don't picture it. What can I say I am only a dainty demure woman on the inside. Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.


But I don't care. I needed to get this book finished. What brought on this urgency you might ask? A stirring in my spirit that is hard to explain because I don't understand it myself. The closest thing that I can come to is when God told Noah to built the ark. I mean, Noah must have said, "sure God whatever you say but what's rain?"


I am sixty years old and I have never experienced anything like this before. This book was on my to do list to be finished last year. God gave me the plot in about thirty minutes then I had the dreams. God and I are pretty tight. Not because I'm special but because I'm very needy. His voice isn't hard to recognize when you listen as hard as I do. I'm always just checking to see if he is still there. It's almost like a child in bed at night calling to Mom and Dad. "Hey Dad it's me how about a tall glass of water." I am always thirsty.


I was dragging my feet (I guess now I am literally dragging them) even though I knew I was suppose to write a trilogy. A trilogy and I didn't even have the first one done. Hey don't give me that look. I'm writing on blind faith here.


I haven't a clue what God is going to do with this book or the next two. One thing I can tell you they are saturated with Him. It is almost like someone poured a pitcher of oil all over them. This is God's baby I am just trying hard to see that it grows into maturity and is ready to go out into the world.


I'm not the type to tell you God said, unless I believe God said. None of this is about me. I am just a willing vessel hoping to be used by God. Well, alright, begging to be used by God. Because that's where I find my true joy and happiness; when I am smack dab in the middle of something he has asked me to do.


God is so close that when I breathe I feel as if I am breathing in his very essence. Every movement is in line with him. Does that mean I do everything right. No, unfortunately, it just means I am willing to give it my best shot.

I'm kind of like that kid on the baseball team with a lot of heart but just so so talent. He's so sweet ya just gotta give him a chance. You never know he may hit a home run.













Until we meet again. God Bless

What About Me

Sometimes it's hard to understand why some of our prayers don't seem to get answered. Why we don't get to do the things our hearts yearn to do. Why do we have to strive so hard? Why does it seem it is always some one else who gets the breaks? I finally came to the realization that if I had gotten everything that I thought I should have I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't care as deeply, I wouldn't have worked as hard or reached as high, striving to give others what I so long for myself. I wouldn't have learned to depend on God so much. I also realized God is concerned with making me into the person I should be, not necessarily the person I had envisioned.


But if I am to be honest there have been times in my life I have asked God, "Can't I just have a suddenly?" You know, one of those moments that has catapulted you into your hearts dream. One thing I do know is when I stop trying so hard things do come together. When I relax and just let God be God that's always when the answer comes --the breakthrough happens. Sometimes the harder I try the more I screw it up. I just want it to happen so bad, as the old saying goes, I can't see the forest for the trees.

Some days it is really hard. You know the days I'm talking about, the ones when you feel like all you've gotten done is beat your head against a wall. God keeps telling me not to give up. Every time we feel like we are beating our head against the wall he is removing a few more bricks --and pretty soon, if we don't give up, that wall will come crumbling down, and we will have a clear path.

Sometimes the world throws us a lot of crap to sift through but that's ok, God just uses it to make our path way a little greener. You see, with God the grass is greener after He shines his light on it. So don't get discouraged just keep in mind the more crap the lusher the path. (:0)
























Until we meet again, God Bless.

God Is With Us

Tomorrow is the last day of January 2010. I've been doing a lot of thinking. Mostly trying to hear Gods voice in the mist of this turmoil called life. To feel his presence, to see the light of his love, even in the darkest times.

Sometimes I think I try too hard. I need to relax and realize God is here, right here with me. I don't always have to feel His presence, hear His voice, or have that stirring in my spirit. I need nothing but to accept the fact that He is always with me. No matter what I'm going through, no matter where I am, He is with me. After all God is not about feeling, He is about truth and the truth is He is here always. I love him so much. I could never make it with out him.

I'm going to tell you a secret, I'm really pretty weak. My strength has been gone for years. So many trials. So, I'm standing today only because of Him. I keep going everyday, only because of Him. My family and friends are wonderful but as much as I love them it would not be enough to keep me going.

I owe everything to Him. Each breath I take is His. I am completely in love with my beautiful Saviour. He is my strength and portion. He is always there to lift me up. He always picks me up brushes me off and sets me on my path again. His love sustains me through every storm this life can bring.

So I guess I just wanted you to know that He loves you just the same. No matter what you might be facing this cold January night He is with you. Hold fast to that truth above everything.

Until we meet again. God Bless

Winter Blaghs

Well, I'm back again. How's things going today? I've been going through a few rough patches.How about you? It seems like every winter is hard for me. Do you like winter? I need lots of sunshine. I would not make it any place that had extra long winters. My oldest son laughs and tells me "Mom, you sure you can't get a few more lights in the house." What can I say I need light!


Seriously though do you feel like you're just somewhere in-between in the winter. I mean, it's a good time to get all those things done that you don't want to waste your time on in the spring but with out the sunshine you just can't seem to get motivated. Then when spring comes you don't want to take the time to do all the things you should have done in the winter because you want to enjoy the spring. It's crazy.


Motivation is suppose to be a state of mind not a feeling. I think parts of my mind are definitely in the dark when it's winter. Well, some people might say parts of my mind have never seen the light. (:0)


It's just too hard to imagine that spring is around the corner when it's snowing or just plain dark and dreary. Everything, including me, looks so lifeless in the winter. My smile doesn't come as easily, kind words too easily can be replaced by not so nice ones. I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to hibernate like an old bear. As I am writing this I heard a bird chirping outside my window. I am going to pretend it was a Robin. My first step in positive reinforcement thinking.


One more week and January will be over. I would like to think I could accomplish something before the months end! I did clean out a dresser that had not been touched since my youngest was in Jr. High. Oh, did I mention he is now 26. So, I guess that counts as a small accomplishment.


I have been working on a book I started last year. I have had writers block but I have managed to get a few more pages done. Hopefully about 50 more will wrap up the first draft. According to my goals it should have been done by the end of the 2009. Hey, I'm not too far off target. I covered myself it was not only on my one year goal but my 10 year as well.



Well, I guess I've complained enough for one day. I know spring is coming. There goes that bird again. Confirmation! Hang in there, I know you will make it too. One of these days the sun will shine bright, the Robins will be singing and I will be complaining about all the dust and spots on the carpet that I will be able to see so clearly. Hmm, maybe I should get busy.









God Bless until next time.

Victory In Jesus

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About this year, the promises it holds, the ability to move ahead and step out into that internal photograph we all have in our heart. I feel like never before that each day of this year is jam packed with possibilities and promise. Please don't let it pass you by. God is tugging at your heart. Whispering in your ear. Please listen. What you have to contribute to this world is far beyond anything you could ever hope or imagine. You just need to get in line with God. Allow him into your life and watch what amazing things develop.

The ups and downs of this life are almost more then we can bear but I promise you there is an answer. That answer is Jesus. Not religion, not a denomination, it's Jesus. A relationship with him. A real one on one walking in the mud and in the sunshine relationship. Through the good times and the bad. It's not about your parents relationship, your spouse or your friends. It's about your personal relationship with him.

A lot of people try to put him in a box and tell you that you have to be this or that before you can be accepted by Jesus. That's not true. Jesus accepts you right where you are right in the middle of your mess. You don't have to get your life all pulled together before you can ask him into it. It's not about how many times you have attended church this week, how many hours you have spent in prayer or how many good deeds you have done, although all of that is good. It's about loving Jesus and Jesus loving you.

Don't be afraid to step out of the boat. Take a chance. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The world lies before you. Take his hand. Don't be afraid. Your life will never be the same. You will never be sorry.

I know sometimes I sound like a stuck record playing over and over but I know the reality of Jesus and that personal relationship. I have seen him work miracle after miracle in my life. Has it been hard? Sure, but I wouldn't even have a life if it was not for him. I"m not ashamed to admit that I need him every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day. I can't do it with out him. I wouldn't want to try. He is the first thing I think of in the morning when I wake and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep at night. Everything I do is with him in my heart and mind. Yes, I screw up at times but it's not like I wake up in the morning and decide, "Today I'm going to screw up," I'm human and it happens. He knows our weakness's they are no surprise to him. He is our strength.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. After all he hung the stars and the moon. He spoke the world into existence. With God the impossible becomes the possible. Stop carrying the load, I know how heavy it is, give it to Jesus.

If you have already given your life to him. Hang in there. Remember there can never be a victory with out a battle.



Until we meet again. God Bless