Saturday, February 27, 2010

One Little Word

I was reading through some old journals this morning, which my "Bestest Friend" told me to do. Ok, since we are friends, I'll spill my guts, I was feeling down wondering if what I had been believing God for was really going to happen. There I said it; see I told you before I was needy.

Think about it, God and I have been talking about this for years. I mean I have an internal photograph for heaven sakes. Maybe I can't hold it in my hands yet but that's tangible this is eternal; I mean really, I need to get a grip.

Well, I came across one seemingly simple little word over and over again. "Believe" That was Gods answer time and time again. "Just believe Sandy, just believe." Seems simple enough especially when I stopped to consider where I've been.

I'm not even suppose to be here. My Mom was unable to carry a child but here I am. She carried me all nine months. She was in horrible pain and would fall on her knees crying and praying that God would protect me and allow me to be born.

I weighed five pounds when I was born. Mom had to contantly turn me from side to side like a pig on a spit because I would turn blue. To look at me now you would never believe I started life that small. I laugh and tell people, "there was no room in the womb but once I hit the air, Whoa!!" (:0)

I think about the trauma's that I went through before the age of 5. I was stung all over my face by a nest of yellow jackets. I'm allergic to bees. I survived. I remember getting a little cut on my knee that Mom faithfully took care of but still the infection developed to my bones causing severe pain and complications. I'm still here.

As I grew older everything seemed to come in pairs. When I got the measles I also got tonsillitis. I guess I took the whole two by two thing a bit too far. I could go on and on it was as if someone was really angry because I was here.

As an adult I was told I was in a thyroid storm and that I had one heart attack and was on the verge of another. There's that pair thing again, I survived at age 50 with the heart of a teenager, No surgery and no sign of any heart attacks. "I got that straight from the Doctors mouth." "Clean and pristine." God is Great.

Miracle after Miracle, You would think I would not have trouble with that little word "Believe," but I still struggle with it...Over and over again.

What makes that word so difficult? Why don't I take it for what it is? Why do I keep laying it down. I guess it's kind of like trying to buy a sweater at the store. I pick it up.. I lay it down.... I try it on... I look at it from all angles... I like how it fits... The price is right... Why can't I just buy it? You see that's where the problem lies, I could buy that sweater for you anytime.

I can believe all day and all night for you. How to keep that little word active for me in my life that's where I get into trouble. I guess maybe that's another thing I took a little too far, "you know the one about putting others before yourself."

Just like in the Bible and just like my "Bestest Friend" reminded me this week, I need to go back and remind myself of all the things God has promised me, as well as, all the things He has brought me through.

I use to think that it was God and me; I could walk this road alone but I now know that everyone needs someone to cover their back. Even Jesus picked twelve disciples. God made us to be there for one another, to hold up each others hands in battle.

So what about it friend? I promise to hold up your hands. Will you hold up mine?

God Bless. Until We Meet Again.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

God Is In The Driveway

I've been deep in thought this week. There is a stirring that can't be put into words. All I can tell you is my heart is full of God. His love and power grows thicker around us.

I know a lot of you are tired. Some of you are at the point of giving up. You've done everything you can think of to make things change but nothing has worked. Maybe you're thinking "My breakthrough is never going to happen. My life is never going to change." Let me tell you with all the force I can muster "Yes it is." You are so close; now is not the time to throw in the towel. Don't you dare give up. You are closer then you think.

The enemy wants you to give up that's why so much has been coming at you. He thinks if he pulls out all the stops you won't make it to the finish line. I'm telling you, "You can make it!" Actually I'm not telling you but God is telling you, "You Can Make It." I'm just the mouth piece.

All you women who have given birth know how hard it is just before delivery. Those contractions are steady. They are almost unbearable but that's when you know that baby is almost here; so it is with your breakthrough. God has seen every tear and heard every prayer.

He has commanded an army of angels to be dispatched on your behalf. They have been hand picked just for you and your circumstance. God has been working on your behalf behind the scenes. Like a stage being set for a play, rehearsals are over, "It's Show Time."

Think of it this way, God has pulled in your driveway, He just hasn't made it into the house yet.

Until we meet again. God Bless

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Sure God But What's Rain

I am so tired I feel like my fingers are super bonded to my keyboard and my backside has been permanently glued to my desk chair. I have been writing almost non stop for the last four and a half days. I have had very little sleep. The few hours I have been able to sleep I have been stretched out on the chaise in the study. My legs and feet are swollen so badly I can hardly bend them. My husband said he never saw anything like it. I mean picture it, my size 9 1/2 feet swelled up looking like half inflated beach balls, then again don't picture it. What can I say I am only a dainty demure woman on the inside. Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.

But I don't care. I needed to get this book finished. What brought on this urgency you might ask? A stirring in my spirit that is hard to explain because I don't understand it myself. The closest thing that I can come to is when God told Noah to built the ark. I mean, Noah must have said, "sure God whatever you say but what's rain?"

I am sixty years old and I have never experienced anything like this before. This book was on my to do list to be finished last year. God gave me the plot in about thirty minutes then I had the dreams. God and I are pretty tight. Not because I'm special but because I'm very needy. His voice isn't hard to recognize when you listen as hard as I do. I'm always just checking to see if he is still there. It's almost like a child in bed at night calling to Mom and Dad. "Hey Dad it's me how about a tall glass of water." I am always thirsty.

I was dragging my feet (I guess now I am literally dragging them) even though I knew I was suppose to write a trilogy. A trilogy and I didn't even have the first one done. Hey don't give me that look. I'm writing on blind faith here.

I haven't a clue what God is going to do with this book or the next two. One thing I can tell you they are saturated with Him. It is almost like someone poured a pitcher of oil all over them. This is God's baby I am just trying hard to see that it grows into maturity and is ready to go out into the world.

I'm not the type to tell you God said, unless I believe God said. None of this is about me. I am just a willing vessel hoping to be used by God. Well, alright, begging to be used by God. Because that's where I find my true joy and happiness; when I am smack dab in the middle of something he has asked me to do.

God is so close that when I breathe I feel as if I am breathing in his very essence. Every movement is in line with him. Does that mean I do everything right. No, unfortunately, it just means I am willing to give it my best shot.

I'm kind of like that kid on the baseball team with a lot of heart but just so so talent. He's so sweet ya just gotta give him a chance. You never know he may hit a home run.

Until we meet again. God Bless

Friday, February 5, 2010

What About Me

Sometimes it's hard to understand why some of our prayers don't seem to get answered. Why we don't get to do the things our hearts yearn to do. Why do we have to strive so hard? Why does it seem it is always some one else who gets the breaks? I finally came to the realization that if I had gotten everything that I thought I should have I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't care as deeply, I wouldn't have worked as hard or reached as high, striving to give others what I so long for myself. I wouldn't have learned to depend on God so much. I also realized God is concerned with making me into the person I should be, not necessarily the person I had envisioned.

But if I am to be honest there have been times in my life I have asked God, "Can't I just have a suddenly?" You know, one of those moments that has catapulted you into your hearts dream. One thing I do know is when I stop trying so hard things do come together. When I relax and just let God be God that's always when the answer comes --the breakthrough happens. Sometimes the harder I try the more I screw it up. I just want it to happen so bad, as the old saying goes, I can't see the forest for the trees.

Some days it is really hard. You know the days I'm talking about, the ones when you feel like all you've gotten done is beat your head against a wall. God keeps telling me not to give up. Every time we feel like we are beating our head against the wall he is removing a few more bricks --and pretty soon, if we don't give up, that wall will come crumbling down, and we will have a clear path.

Sometimes the world throws us a lot of crap to sift through but that's ok, God just uses it to make our path way a little greener. You see, with God the grass is greener after He shines his light on it. So don't get discouraged just keep in mind the more crap the lusher the path. (:0)

Until we meet again, God Bless.