Sunday, June 27, 2010

I Will Succeed

Things have been very quiet the last couple of days, kind of like the calm before the storm. I've been searching and praying. I only have one life to live and I want to try and keep it moving in the right direction. Lately that hasn't been easy. It seems like every time I take a step out I am bombarded with opposition. I don't know about you but I believe that means I am on the right track. I just wonder how long before the fog rises and the sun comes through and I see before me what I see in my heart.

God says, "that faith is believing without seeing." I can see it just not in the natural. It is imprinted on my heart like an internal photograph that hasn't faded but grows clearer with time. As each day goes by I realize the things that are real are the things that can not been seen with the eye.

I look at the world around me and realize that it is just temporal. What is inside of me will go on forever. No one can take it away from me, no one can destroy it. They can try but it is deeply rooted and entwined into all that I am no matter what my circumstances in life become.

The spirit and mind are so powerful and when God is allowed to be the head of your life you can not be stopped... Love, hope, peace, joy, dreams will go on forever. Prayers will continue to be answered long after we are gone.

I pray that my family know they are loved beyond measure. May the world know I have tried to live my life for one sole purpose to reflect Jesus Christ and the love of God. All of my earthly relationships stem from this one magnificent one. May my words be filled with kindness and be uplifting. My work show my dedication to God and may I generously share as God gives to me.

My life will not depend on the world around me but what I know is the truth that "through God we will do valiantly." Through the eyes of the world I might never be deemed a success but through the eyes of God I will have succeeded and completed my journey.

Until We Meet Again....God Bless

Monday, June 14, 2010

Today I Was Invisable

How do we become invisible? I didn't use to be invisible. I know once you could see me. Maybe people projected onto me what they thought I should be and between them and myself I got buried. Buried in some truths and half truths, peoples expectations, as well as, my own pain and sorrow, like a ton of earth over me.

I became a daughter, granddaughter, wife, mother, friend, worker, coworker, the list is endless. All of these people, all of these parts I have played. Where am I? If I am the sum total of all my parts how do they all fit? Where is the window that allows the world and myself to see me once again. I am more then the roles I play. More then the labels that society has encrypted upon me. Take me back to the beginning. I need to see me again.......

I feel the dirt beneath my fingernails as I try to claw myself to the surface to the light once again. The dirt covers my eyes and I can taste it and feel the dampness on my skin. I finally reach the surface. The brightness of the light shines upon me. It seems to be coming from everywhere. I hear the laughter of small children and feel the soft grass beneath my feet. I hear the wind blowing through the trees. There are flowers everywhere. They see me, everything sees me because of the light. There is joy on all their faces and their laughter is like a beautiful melody going on forever. I am seen. Maybe not in this world but I am seen and it is beautiful....

I realize once again that it is not important if the world sees me only that God sees me. To God I am never invisible...There is never any confusion. I know that this world is not my home. I am just here for a short while. I have seen a glimpse of home again and I am full of light. I am visible once again. My spirit soars for my hope has been renewed and I will continue the journey.

Until We Meet Again.......God Bless

Friday, June 11, 2010

Changing Seasons

I've been thinking a lot about changes and seasons in our lives. Some people we try so hard to hold onto but they still seem to drift away. I finally realized that's alright. It's like trying to hold onto a snowflake. The relationship changes just as the snowflake melts and becomes water. Know matter how hard we try to hold on to them they quickly seem to run through our fingers.

I have met a lot of wonderful people that have been in my life for just a season or two. They played a vital role in my journey and I will always remember them.

God pretty much has to slap me up side of the head from time to time to let me know a season is over. (:0) I still keep trying to make it work and He is saying no it's time to move on. That's what He seems to be doing lately. He is being very persistent I keep hearing, "I've been trying to tell you it's a new season can't you see it. Old things have passed away and all things have become new." But I get use to the old, the familiar; after all sometimes change hurts and growth is never easy.

Today I have decided to embrace this new season in my life. I can't wait to see what will happen and who God will bring into my life. I am not going to be afraid. I will have no regrets. I will love with an open heart and an open hand always allowing those I meet on my path walk beside me freely as God directs. There are no strings attached to my love... No giant expectations that have to be met. Freely God has given me His love and freely I will pour it out to others.

Change is good for us. If we are changing we are moving. I plan to keep moving down this road God prepared for me. I may stop and rest from time to time. May pick a flower and enjoy a sunset but like a child I will eventually make it home.

Until We Meet Again......God Bless

Monday, June 7, 2010

Making A Memorable Moment

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon. All the family had gathered at my Grandparents house. Their house was small so we had made our way out to the side yard with chairs and blankets. The adults were talking and the kids were running and playing. It was a lazy wonderful day that I never wanted to forget.

I remember laying on my belly on a home made quilt of my Grandmothers. I lifted my head and stared out before me. I had such a peace and I wanted to remember the day forever. I pulled up a blade of grass and put it between my thumbs and stared at it trying to burn it in my memory. I kept repeating, "I want to remember today forever."

I don't know why I thought I needed to remember that one day out of so many previous ones but for some reason it was important to me. I couldn't tell you the exact date on the calendar or even my exact age, although I believe I was eight at the time, only the feelings I had about that day. I don't think I have ever felt that way again.

For one sunny afternoon all the cares of the world drained completely away and left only the feeling of belonging, acceptance and love. All those feelings pure and untainted from this world. I believe for a brief moment I experience a touch of heaven.

I think about the warmth of Gods radiant love, the feeling of acceptance and knowing you are home. Having completed your journey with the weariness of the world left behind forever.

I believe someday I will experience that feeling again and it will not just last for one sunny Sunday afternoon but for eternity. I look forward to that day. My heart is filled with promise because of Jesus and one sunny Sunday afternoon so long ago.

Until We Meet Again.......God Bless

Friday, June 4, 2010

Jesus Is The Light

I was in the hospital this week. I usually end up having to be in at least once a year. It doesn't bother me as much as it use too. Maybe that's why God gave me a job in the hospital so I wouldn't be so afraid. I was a bit unnerved at one point though so I got out my pen and paper and started writing to Jesus.

This is what I always do when things seem to be getting the best of me. I write and tell Him everything that is bothering me and how much I love Him and depend on Him. When I am finished writing I start a new paragraph and begin it with my first name and wait for an answer in my spirit. Then I start writing what He is saying to me.

I really loved what he had to say. He told me, " Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself. Just stay close to me. Together we will always win. Enjoy the view..... Believe with your whole heart. Expect much and you will receive more. Forge ahead even when the way seems hard there is a light to brighten your way. I am that light. I am that hope. Expect....Don't be afraid. Release your fears let them go there is no room for them in your life. There is a shield around you. A caravan of hope follows you filled with everything you will ever need on your journey. Release your faith. Bring light into the world."

So I decided to share this with you tonight hoping that it might bring some peace and light into your night as it did mine. I know how much Jesus loves you.

I can honestly say that nothing can stop me from loving and sharing Jesus. It doesn't matter how I am feeling or what my circumstance's are because it's not about me. Does that mean I do everything I should? No... It just means I have found that each time I step out regardless of my opposing feelings I am strengthened and blessed for it. So I can say boldly there is no room for fear and darkness in my life because Jesus is the light of my life.

Until We Meet Again........God Bless