One Little Word

I was reading through some old journals this morning, which my "Bestest Friend" told me to do. Ok, since we are friends, I'll spill my guts, I was feeling down wondering if what I had been believing God for was really going to happen. There I said it; see I told you before I was needy.


Think about it, God and I have been talking about this for years. I mean I have an internal photograph for heaven sakes. Maybe I can't hold it in my hands yet but that's tangible this is eternal; I mean really, I need to get a grip.


Well, I came across one seemingly simple little word over and over again. "Believe" That was Gods answer time and time again. "Just believe Sandy, just believe." Seems simple enough especially when I stopped to consider where I've been.


I'm not even suppose to be here. My Mom was unable to carry a child but here I am. She carried me all nine months. She was in horrible pain and would fall on her knees crying and praying that God would protect me and allow me to be born.

I weighed five pounds when I was born. Mom had to contantly turn me from side to side like a pig on a spit because I would turn blue. To look at me now you would never believe I started life that small. I laugh and tell people, "there was no room in the womb but once I hit the air, Whoa!!" (:0)


I think about the trauma's that I went through before the age of 5. I was stung all over my face by a nest of yellow jackets. I'm allergic to bees. I survived. I remember getting a little cut on my knee that Mom faithfully took care of but still the infection developed to my bones causing severe pain and complications. I'm still here.


As I grew older everything seemed to come in pairs. When I got the measles I also got tonsillitis. I guess I took the whole two by two thing a bit too far. I could go on and on it was as if someone was really angry because I was here.

As an adult I was told I was in a thyroid storm and that I had one heart attack and was on the verge of another. There's that pair thing again, I survived at age 50 with the heart of a teenager, No surgery and no sign of any heart attacks. "I got that straight from the Doctors mouth." "Clean and pristine." God is Great.

Miracle after Miracle, You would think I would not have trouble with that little word "Believe," but I still struggle with it...Over and over again.


What makes that word so difficult? Why don't I take it for what it is? Why do I keep laying it down. I guess it's kind of like trying to buy a sweater at the store. I pick it up.. I lay it down.... I try it on... I look at it from all angles... I like how it fits... The price is right... Why can't I just buy it? You see that's where the problem lies, I could buy that sweater for you anytime.


I can believe all day and all night for you. How to keep that little word active for me in my life that's where I get into trouble. I guess maybe that's another thing I took a little too far, "you know the one about putting others before yourself."


Just like in the Bible and just like my "Bestest Friend" reminded me this week, I need to go back and remind myself of all the things God has promised me, as well as, all the things He has brought me through.


I use to think that it was God and me; I could walk this road alone but I now know that everyone needs someone to cover their back. Even Jesus picked twelve disciples. God made us to be there for one another, to hold up each others hands in battle.


So what about it friend? I promise to hold up your hands. Will you hold up mine?










God Bless. Until We Meet Again.